A Glimpse of God's Grace

Many moon ago, when I was in high school, I was mentored by a wonderful woman.  She was "older than me", just out of college, and as far as I was concerned right about just about everything.  (as I type this I realize that I am now older than she was at this time.  Wow.  Where does the time go)

Anyway, she was, and remains, a wonderful strong Christian woman.  She taught me much during our times together about God, and what His grace means. About how I can ask God for anything, because He alone is bigger than anything.  About how I can always ALWAYS rely on Him.   In the years since I have continued to learn these lessons from her, even though we don't see each other on a regular basis.  She was and remains a positive influence in my life.

Back in the day we would usually meet once a week or so and would go for coffee, just a drive or shopping. She would ask me about my week, what I was learning through my devotions and basically help shape who I was learning to become.  During this time, the group Audio Adrenaline released the song "Big House".  I loved this song.  I dearly loved this song.  And my mentor had a cassette tape (yes, I am dating myself here) with this song on it. As cool as I already thought she was, this boosted her up a few notches.  I nearly drove her crazy with my requests to hear this song.  Again, in her loving way, she showed me Grace in allowing me to repeadedly play this song - then rewind the cassette, and listen again.  In fact, it became a joke of ours.  When she left for a 2 year mission trip she 'willed' the cassette to me and I beleive that I cried in my car the day the tape broke. 

Fast forward to the present.  As you may be aware, we adopted our son nearly a year ago.  Something that I prayed for since the begining of our journey was that somehow, some way, I would see just a glimpse of myself in him.  I cannot biologically call him mine, I cannot claim to have given him "my eyes" or "my nose" - but I just wanted something that I could say - "That's me.  All the way".  (Correct me if I am wrong, but I think a lot of adoptive parents seek this.) Something that I knew God could reveal to me, as a private message just to me, that He hears every single one of our prayers, even the silly little ones that in the grand scheme of life are insignificant-  and cares about them. 

Today I had that moment.  Buddy and I were driving home from an errand and I had the radio on.  One guess as to what song came on - yep "Big House" by Audio A.  And he loved it.  He sang in his own way the whole time, and clapped, and laughed the whole song.  This made me laugh, and made me think of my mentor.  Then the song ended.  My sweet Buddy started asking for "Mo" (read: More)
and using his sign language for please.  With all I am, I wished I had that song on a CD in the car for him.  He emphatically wanted to hear "Mo" of it. Over and over he would say "Mo" and sign. He was crushed that I could not comply.

This, my friends, was truly "from me".  So I stopped and thanked God for answering that silly little prayer of mine in such a fantastic way all the while marveling in how He chooses to reveal is grace to us.

One Little Cupcake

When Buddy came home, almost a year ago, our group from church provided meals for us for several weeks.  It is just one way our group is just wonderful.  I think that God has given me amnesia about much of this time, because it was very, very rough for the first few weeks.  What I do remember was feeling loved by the outpouring of support we received, and how our friends cared for us with the meals. I will admit, I cannot remember most of what was brought, this was not because it was not appreciated.  It was, more than I think most people will understand, it is just that we were extremely sleep deprived, and just barely making it through each day.

I want to tell you about one glorious, delicious item that was delivered.  Cupcakes.  Not just any old cupcakes either - homemade, beautifully decorated red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  These, my friends, just happen to be my very favorite food in all of the land.

Why were these so special?  Because in the midst of total chaos in our lives, a dear, sweet friend remembered a conversation that had taken place several months (if not years) prior when I had mentioned that this little confection was my very favorite in all the world.  This dear friends tucked that little bit of information about me away, to be used later on. 

Because these little treats were made just for me.  To make me feel special, to feel loved and not forgotten in all the craziness that was our lives those weeks. 

You see, this friend is a mother of four and knows just what it is like to bring your first child home.  How scary it is, and how lost you can feel.  Just thinking of those cupcakes brings tear to my eyes.  Not just because of how enchantingly delicious they were, but because they remind me that I am loved. 

I wish I had thought to take a picture of these treats, but alas I did not.  When I think of them I am reminded that the littlest act of kindness on my part can totally change someone forever. That taking the time to learn little details like this can make some one's day - year even. 

It quite simply reminds me that as insignificant as I feel sometimes I am a part of a greater whole, the Body of Christ.  That by serving my brother or sister in Christ I am also serving Him, giving Him the Glory and praise.

All by baking cupcakes.

How We Came To Be A Family of Three...

One of the most frequent questions we are asked is how we came to adopt, it is a fairly long answer but here is the short version.
God told us to.

Let me back up a little.  When I was little I always knew I wanted to be a Mom.  As I hit my teen years I had a plan - I would meet the love of my life while in High School, work while he went to college, get married when he graduated and start having babies.  By my plan I would become a Mother at about age 21 or 22.  Well, that didn't happen.

I didn't meet the love of my life until I was out of college (that's another long story) and we didn't get married until I was 26.  We decided to wait a few years before trying to start a family.  Again, it was my plan and I could adjust it as I wanted to.  Then, that didn't happen.
Will we ever adopt again - it isn't out of the question.  We will wait for another "Sign From God" to be sure...

When I was 29, after just a few months of trying I was diagnosed as infertile.  With one simple test done in his office he informed me that we had about a 5% change of naturally conceiving a child.  He referred us to a specialist, who, after 8 months of treatments told us that other than IVF, he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know why we had not yet conceived.  (Just a note, we had decided long before this that IVF was not an option for us.  He knew our feelings on this, and respected that.  Nothing against IVF, we just knew that was not the path or choice for us.) This was in the spring of 2007.

We waited and prayed for over a year for God to show us what HE wanted us to do. We had always planned on adding to our family through adoption at some point, but we didn't know when.  So for us, adoption was always on the table. 

 I must confess here, I don't want us to come across as the perfect Christian couple.  There were a lot of heated discussions between the two of us and me and God.  To be frank - I was angry at God for a while.  I didn't understand why He would give us this strong desire to have children then not fulfill that desire.  I even prayed that if it was His will to take that desire from me.  That didn't happen. As time went on the desire grew stronger and stronger.  I started to specifically pray that God would give Steve a sign that now is the time.

On August 10, 2008 we had what we called "A Sign From God", and knew it was time.  In September 2008 we completed the preliminary forms to adopt from South Korea, and in April 2009 we completed the full application.  In September 2009 we completed our home study and were matched with Buddy on May 16, 2010.  Buddy then came home to us on September 4, 2010.  And I can't remember what it was like without him in our life!


If you have questions about adoption, please feel free to send me a message at
foodinthebarrenland@gmail.com

This Lady...

This lady -
Loves me
Loves her husband
Loves my husband like her own son

Loves my child.  (adores might be a better word)

She is always there for us, cooks amazing Sunday (or Saturday) dinners -
Always willing to help, always willing to listen. 
Would drop everything in a moments notice if we need her
Has my little guy wrapped around his finger. 

Is fiercely protective of her family, and has taught me to be the same.

This Lady - is my Mom. And today we celebrate her.

Happy Birthday Mom! I am so blessed that you are my  Mom!

What I like the most...

A dear friend asked me recently what I liked the most about being a Mom.  It took me a while to answer. Here is what I finally decided was the best.

I love knowing my child. 

You see, one of the things I was most jealous of in watching all my friends and their kids was  that no matter how hard I tried with the kiddos, no matter what I did - I didn't really know those kids.  I didn't know what their different cries meant, or what snacks would always help the grumpys go away. I am great with kids, but I didn't know them best.

 Yes, I really had a huge, ugly green jealous streak in me of moments like that.  Disgusting, isn't it?  I can admit it now, I hated this part of me - but it was there.

Now I know Buddy best.  I know when he is crying because something is wrong, or just because he is mad.  I know what snacks he loves, and what he could take or leave.  I know which books we cannot go a day without reading, and what cartoons will keep him occupied for the 20 minutes I need.  I know his favorite foods, and the ones he wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. I know what makes him laugh, and what makes him cry.  The best part of this? He looks to me first to know these things.  Because I'm his Mama.  And he's my Son.

Significance

Today marks a Significant Day in our son's life.  Today, Buddy turns 18 months old.   He also has lived more of his little life with us than without.  He has known us as his parents for longer than anyone else. He has woken up more times in our home than anywhere else.  He has eaten more meals with us than anyone else.

He knows me as his mother and Steve as his father.  He calls us by those names.  He looks to us for comfort when he is hurting, he makes us laugh with his antics.  He knows us.


 And we know him.  We know what will make him laugh, and what will make him cry.  We know his favorites and his not so favorites.  We know when he is sleepy, and when it is time to play.  We know when to push him to try new things, and when to hang back and let him go at his own pace.

We love him, and he loves us. He is ours. A Gift from God.

(Picture from his first ice cream cone- I think he liked it!  Or at least liked Grampy's Chocolate ice cream)

Grilled Stuffed Chicken

Just a note about my cooking.  I tend to loosely follow recipes.  I tend to not measure a lot, and go more by taste and what we like.  If you have any questions about any recipes I post, please e-mail me at foodinthebarrenland@gmail.com and just ask!

4 boneless, skinless chicken breast portions

1/2 cup chopped each:
Fresh Tarragon
Fresh Dill
Fresh Basil
Fresh Flat Leaf Parsley

3 (or 4, depends on how much you like) oz. Mild Goat Cheese (I used the Garlic and Herb flavor)
1 Lemon
Toothpicks
Non-stick cooking spray (Like PAM)

Heat grill to medium-high heat.

Finely chop all of the herbs and mix in a small bowl.  Zest the lemon into the mix.  Remove half of the mix and reserve.  Use a fork to mix the goat cheese into the remaining herb mix.
Clean and trim the chicken breasts. In the fattest part of the piece of chicken, cut a slit and use your fingers to enlarge to a pocket.  Place even amounts of the cheese mixture into each of the pieces of chicken and use the the toothpicks to tightly seal the pockets.  Spray each side of the chicken with the non-stick cooking spray.  Sprinkle the reserved her mix over the chicken, and squeeze some of the lemon juice over the chicken.

Grill until chicken is cooked through.


I served this with Garlic and Herb Cous Cous, and Grilled Asparagus (recipe to follow)



Grilled Asparagus

1 Bunch Asparagus, cleaned
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Whatever spices you enjoy

Place cleaned asparagus in a zip lock bag, pour in about a 1/4 cup of EVOO, and add the spices to your liking.
Toss to evenly coat the asparagus.

Grill in a grilling basket until desired tenderness is done.

I like to use lemon pepper, Italian seasoning, garlic, any fresh herbs.





(NOTE: The Chicken recipe is adapted from the Weight Watcher's Sizzling Cook Book  I think that I about doubled the amount of the herbs called for, as we like stronger flavors. I also chose the garlic and herb variety of goat cheese, as the recipe called for plain)